Strangely while this gift from Jesus should seem like a relief, to me it has always felt like a punishment, like I had to be put in “time out.”
I’m learning I’m addicted to doing. I can’t sit still and I always need to be going. And while this can be a strength, there is always a dark side to our strengths, and for me it’s that I never rest. Well that catches up with you eventually, and after an extremely busy year both personally and at work I have crashed.
About two weeks ago all the doing caught up with me. For about a week tears flowed uncontrollably. I’m really not a crier so this was very strange and I felt like I was losing control. I took some time to just sit and be still. And that’s where I realized I am afraid of the quiet. In the quiet we can’t mask our problems, our fears or our disappointments, it’s like someone shines a spotlight on them. And I dare say that is actually a good thing.
Here’s what I learned in the quiet:
- God’s not done with me. In fact I have a long way to go to be refined and become more like Jesus.
- Kingdom work goes on even while we rest. God invites us in and uses us, but its really not all going to fall apart without us.
- It is dishonoring to Him to not take care of ourselves physically.
- He loves us so much. HIS LOVE FOR US IS NOT DEPENDENT ON WHAT WE DO. He loves us simply because we are His. Wow, that is so freeing.
I took the past week off and stayed home and faced my fear of the quiet. I also decided that I was going to take my health seriously and switched to a week of all whole foods. I will talk more about that in another post. But lets just say the first four days were a real battle, but by the end of the week so much clarity and strength came.
What God taught me in the quiet is that while it brings Him glory when we serve Him with all we are and have, that it is also dishonoring to Him when we don’t take time and rest in Him. If we are to become more like Him, then we have to take the time in rest and reflection for Him to refresh us and speak to our hearts.
Are you weary from doing? Come into the quiet and rest, He is there waiting.